In "happiness" surveys around the world, Americans always rank quite low in comparison to a lot of countries where large extended families and walkable communities are the norm. Could it be because we are lonely? Not only must we drive everywhere, limiting our contact with people, but also once we arrive home many of us are totally alone, or living with people who have no commitment to being there for the long run. Per today's news release by the U.S. Census:
43% of all U.S. residents 18 and older are unmarried
61% of the unmarried have never been married
45% of households are maintained by the unmarried
28% of all households are comprised of people living alone
33% of births the past 12 months were to unmarried women
That explains the explosion in the dating service industry that makes billions of dollars a year. Unfortunately, life is more lonely for some races here than for others, since these statistics would vary considerably if broken down by ethnicity. For example, 85% of Asian children live with two parents, while only 38% of black children live with two parents, per another U.S. Census report. Hmmmm...educational statistics show that Asians are consistently at the top, and blacks typically lag furthest behind. Could there be a correlation with educational achievement and the family?
To stop the loneliness, people could theoretically share living space more than they currently do. In fact, with the economy in a shambles, there are more and more news stories of people doing just that to cut expenses.85% of Asian children lived with two parents
78% of white non-Hispanic children lived with two parents
70% of Hispanic children lived with two parents
38% of black children lived with two parents
However, it won't be long before people discover that the laws and local ordinances do not support the direction our society has been heading. Many communities forbid houses to be rented to unrelated roommates, calling the houses "boarding houses," for example. Other ordinances forbid large extended families from sharing a house, limiting the number of related people per house to a total of two per bedroom, or a certain number of people per square foot. I found out these things the hard way when I was served with an arrest warrant for renting a house to three unrelated Latinos. Shame on me.
All such rules seem absurd as the economy worsens, and as our society continues to drift away from the old-fashioned family unit. Laws are slow to catch up, but I'm sure there will be many impacts across the board -- going way beyond who can share a house -- once they finally do accommodate the new realities. There could be more support structures offered to single and unmarried parents, for instance, like aftercare with supervised homework at all schools, and less homework to begin with. Or maybe relax the rules about working from home, or have more social clubs that are geared toward something other than dating. Or maybe we could employ all those people in retirement homes to supervise our kids, or handle the handyman list, or simply share a meal and offer companionship.
We won't be going backward in time to the family unit, extended family, and closeknit communities of the past, but what might going forward in time look like, if we actually prepare for the realities rather than continue to dream of a bygone era?
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