ELEPHANT RAGE

Men Visit Gynecologists to Treat Their 'Womenopause'

I was taken by surprise the other day when a man walked into the lobby at my gynecologist's office and signed in as a patient.  I found myself looking him up and down, and wondering what he had in his pants.  He looked masculine enough, but still...maybe he'd been changed.

Once I was called in for my appointment, I noticed two flyers on the wall.  One said:  "Hormone imbalance is not just a woman's problem...[We are] now assisting both men and women with their hormone issues."  The other one was titled:  ANDROPAUSE.  It explained this strange word as being the male equivalent of menopause.  Somehow I think this is all twisted.  Men should have womenopause if women have menopause.  Or women should have womenopause and men can have that dreaded menopause. 

So here's the deal, men, per the other flyers that I pocketed: 

Why Should Men Take Supplemental Hormones?  The Benefits of Androgen Therapy

It is no surprise that our bodies change as we age.  The hormones that stimulate the development and maintenance of "maleness" are called androgens.  Androgen levels peak when men are in their late teens and twenties.  After that, levels gradually decline...men who have the highest levels of testosterone and other androgens, frequently look, feel and perform at the top of their class.  There are other men with androgen levels at the bottom of the pack.  They may be fatigued, perform poorly sexually and may even be depressed...low androgens can be at the heart of many common male medical problems...

What problems are we talking about?  There can be muscle loss and weakness, reduced sexual desire and erectile dysfunction.  Weight gain, especially around the middle, is a common problem.  Increased abdominal fat...Prostate enlargement...Prostate cancer...thinking problems and difficult with learning new things...thinning bones.  Depression... 

Do I have to be "old" to need androgen supplements?  No!  ...Will just taking Androgens solve all my problems?  No!!  ...Proper diet is needed...Exercise is needed...Vitamins and other dietary supplements are needed, along with adequate sleep and moderation of alcohol consumption...

What are the benefits?  Improvement of mood, well-being, thinking and learning.  Enhanced libido and sexual performance.  Maintain Prostate Gland health and healthy urinary functions.  Increasing muscle mass and tone while reducing abdominal body fat.  Reducing cholesterol, triglycerides and blood sugar to help protect the heart.  Protection of bone strength and density...

Which hormones are we talking about?  The most important androgen is testosterone...

So, looking back on that man in the lobby, I have to think that maybe he was functioning "at the bottom of the pack" and needed help.  Which of the above problems he needed the most help with, I don't dare to speculate. 

But if you, reader, are losing your "maleness" and need some assistance, but are afraid to walk into just any gynecologist's office (after all, they can't all be in the business of helping both men and women), then you should check out Georgia Hormones, formerly known as Alpharetta Women's Healthcare at my previous visit. 

Somehow, I liked the sound of "women's healthcare" better, but I'm sure the owners like the sound of "cha-ching," and that's probably what they hear when they think of opening up their practice to millions of men.  I can tell you, there are plenty around here who are going through Andropause and need more of that androgen thing that makes them men:  testosterone. 

IN THE NEWS: Marge Simpson Bares All for Playboy

 November 2009 Cover of Playboy

In an effort to attract a younger audience, Playboy magazine has for the first time put on its cover a cartoon character:  Marge Simpson.  "We knew that this would really appeal to the 20-something crowd," per a spokeswoman of Playboy.  "She is a stunning example of the cartoon form," added the editorial director.

When my 12-year-old daughter, a long-time Simpson's fan, saw the new Playboy cover, her first response was, "That is so out of character for Marge.  That doesn't fit her character at all."  It doesn't seem to fit her figure, either, since there are many younger and more voluptuous cartoon characters out there who would've been more appropriate candidates for appearing in Playboy.  Nevertheless, not only does Marge appear on the cover, but also inside the publication in a display considered "very, very racy" by the editorial director.

After much research, apparently in the wrong places, I was unable to come up with data supporting Playboy's assertion that Marge will appeal primarily to the 20-something crowd.  That is simply unjustified.  The Simpsons appeals to ALL demographics, including little children.  I can personally testify to that, because my own child starting watching the series at about age six.  Which is unfortunate if the real attempt of Playboy is to hook a much younger audience.

To all those religious people who consider The Simpsons evil, I want to say my daughter has obtained the best ever education from that show, learning all about past presidents, events, social issues and more, not to mention developing a fine sense of humor.  I've never seen anything negative about the show whatsoever...until now. 

Things change a bit when one of the characters -- a church-going mother, no less -- strips for a sex magazine the BBC calls "soft porn."  This seems indeed out of character and unwarranted.  Makes me wonder if Huge Hefner did this on his own, without approval from The Simpsons powers that be, or if this was a joint effort at publicity, especially as the show celebrates 20 years in the making.  It could just be a careless attempt by The Simpsons to remain relevant and controversial, and in the news.

An excerpt from the BBC article follows:

Simpsons matriarch Marge Simpson is gracing the cover of Playboy magazine, becoming the first cartoon character in the publication's history...

It marks the 20th anniversary of The Simpsons, viewed as America's most dysfunctional family. 

The move to put Marge on the cover is an attempt to draw in a younger audience for the soft porn magazine.

"We knew that this would really appeal to the 20-something crowd," said Playboy spokeswoman Theresa Hennessey. 

It is not yet known how much of Marge will be on show inside the issue, but "it's very, very racy," said editorial director James Jellinek. 

He added:  "She's a stunning example of the cartoon form."

The edition goes on sale in the US on 16 October...

Playboy owner Hugh Hefner is said to be a huge Simpsons fan and appeared in an episode in the early 1990's.

IN THE NEWS: Men Hide Muffin Tops with Mirdles

Just last night my sister explained to me what a "muffin top" is, so it was rather bizarre today to read about muffin tops in the news, and how men are now using girdles to hide them.  The "mirdles" are like compression tank tops -- designed to not only tuck in the tummy, but also any male boobs (you know, the kind overweight men get).

What's next?  I guess we should take a look around the women's lingerie department to see what men might be wearing soon.  How about padded shirts?  Men can just slip on some fake muscles in the morning.  Might come across like a Halloween super-hero costume, but perhaps not if it were covered up with a long-sleeve button-down shirt.  How about some padded briefs or boxers?  They could have butt-shaping contours in the back, and fake bulges in the front.  Then women can become as disillusioned about men's bodies as men are about women's, expecting perfection.

After men get used to all these new features in clothes, then they can start getting $12,000 muscle implants from the plastic surgeon, to go along with butt implants, tummy tucks, eyebrow transplants, and penile implants.  Pretty soon everyone will be as perfect -- and as plastic -- as Barbie and Ken. 

Really, in the absence of some disability that hinders exercise, there are three choices available to us all:  1)  stay as we are, and accept the imperfections; 2) disguise imperfections and create new "perfect" parts with special clothing and plastic surgery; or 3) dig deep and find the willpower to become the fittest and healthiest we can possibly be, and accept those parts that cannot be changed with proper diet and exercise -- cherish the fact the parts are there and functional.

Personally, what I find attractive about a fit person is the healthy habits and lifestyle that lead to such fitness.  One can really admire a person who has the discipline to eat right and the energy and focus to work out regularly to achieve a trim and muscular physique.  Getting fake fitness doesn't reflect much of anything except a lazy person who wants a shortcut.  Getting fake sexual parts speaks to me of a shortage of self-esteem, since I know of too many women who, e.g., got fake boobs because they didn't like their body, and then after acquiring "perfect" breasts still did not like their body, and even after multiple such surgeries still did not like their body.  Is this a sign people are craving love and affection from others?  Or is what they really need a bit of self-love and self-discipline? 

From WHAS11.com: 

You may not even know it, but some of your male friends or male co-workers could be wearing a girdle. 
<:OD>
More and more men are turning to tummytucking, chest compressing, or body shaping underwear...

Dozens of websites now sell waist eliminators, chest compressors, 'mirdles', and 'manziers'.  They go by several different names, but in the end they're 'girdles for guys'.  Respectable publications like Time Magazine and The Wall Street Journal have written about them in recent issues.  They aim to help hide the muffin top, love handles, moobs, man cans or whatever name you give to the fatty areas of your torso...

If you want to buy a body shaping garment you will pay anywhere from $20 to $110...And some garments are high tech and help your posture and blood flow as they help you look leaner.

IN THE NEWS: Russia Tries to Teach Values to Schoolchildren

Even the Russians are trying to teach their kids values these days, and Russia has just come up with a brilliant plan to accomplish this:  allow the kids to choose to study one religion, several religions, or secular ethics.  What a concept!

If this idea were tried in the United States, it might stop the flight out of the public school system.  One of the biggest complaints against public schools is that they do not teach any morals or values.  One of the biggest reasons parents choose a private school or homeschooling is to have religion and values taught.  Just think -- no more mortgaging the house and handing over an arm and a leg to pay for private schools! 

In some areas the percentage of students attending private schools exceeds forty percent.  To meet this high demand, it is not uncommon for a large city to have more than a hundred private schools to choose from -- all at great cost to the parents.  To find out what percentage of kids are attending private schools in your area, check out www.city-data.com. 

The age-old reason that public schools currently do not offer religion is because of the "separation of church and state" philosophy.  But that really means that government shall not force a particular religion on anyone.  It doesn't mean the government has to act like religions and ethics do not exist.  By offering choices like Russia is doing, the problem is solved.

From the Associated Press via news.yahoo.com: 

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev announced a pilot project Tuesday that will require schoolchildren to take classes in religion or secular ethics.

The proposal is part of a Kremlin effort to teach young Russians morals in the wake of a turbulent period of uncertainty following the collapse of the officially atheist Soviet Union.

Medvedev said preteen students at about 12,000 schools in 18 Russian regions would take the classes.  They will be offered the choice of studying the dominant Russian Orthodox religion, Islam, Buddhism or Judaism, or of taking an overview of all four faiths, or a course in secular ethics.

Students and their parents must be allowed to choose freely, Medvedev said...

By 2012, the classes might be expanded nationwide....

From Naked Flight Attendants to Standing Room Only, Airlines Seem Desperate to Distinguish Themselves

With one airline featuring naked flight attendants in its safety video, and a couple of other airlines considering standing room only spaces, it seems that airlines in general are getting desperate to offer a unique service and get more business.

Air New Zealand recently made headlines with its safety video featuring three male and two female staffers in the buff, except for some paint layered on to look like clothes.  Okay, don't get too excited -- you can't see a thing, except *clothes* that look rather weird.  But the accents are really cool, and it's fun to at least try to see something, right?  What this has boiled down to is an excellent marketing campaign for Air New Zealand, as nearly four million people have already viewed the video on YouTube.  Awesome idea!

Ryanair has also had media coverage lately with its off-the-wall plans for the future.  Under consideration are standing room only seats for short commuter flights; planes with only one toilet; fees to use the toilet; and a requirement for passengers to lug their own luggage out to the airplane.  If Ryanair goes through with these plans, they will most certainly try to pass off these changes as beneficial to the passenger in the form of cheaper flights.  However, the real motivation isn't what's good for you -- it's what's good for the airline.  Just eliminating baggage check-in alone could save the company $42 million a year.  Should they pursue these ideas?

China's Spring Airlines already considered and rejected the idea of standing room only, deciding against it for regulatory and safety reasons, and for the dismal fact that it is having trouble filling its flights as it is.  In a time of recession and plummeting demand for travel, it seems downright odd to think of packing in more people per plane.

The one toilet for a fee idea is by far the worst proposal.  In combination with the other ideas, the troubles would be formidable.  I personally wouldn't want to be on a flight with a bunch of grumpy people who had to lug their suitcase a long distance to the plane, stand up the entire flight, and then wait forever to get into a restroom that they then have to pay to use!  I can picture people getting so pissed off that they might want to pummel the person exiting the restroom.  And that might be me!

I guess the good news is that people in the industry are at least trying to get creative and do something different.  The bad news is that different is not necessarily better.  I've heard a rumor -- unsubstantiated -- that some airline offers special flights for those adventurous souls wanting to join the Mile High Club.  But if that were such a popular thing to do, I definitely would've heard of it.  Also, I believe the Hooters planes were a bust. 

What might they try next?  Gee, guess they could ask women with children for some input, and we might have planes with soundproof playgrounds and diaper-changing rooms in the back, additional toilets rather than fewer, and a place to put a purse in reach.  That's just for starters....

IN THE NEWS: Digital Rembrandt Exhibition Causes Controversy

Hundreds of Rembrandt paintings, etchings and drawings will go on display in Amsterdam this weekend, bringing together works from more than 100 museums and collections around the world in the most complete showing of his works to date, yet not everyone is happy about it.  Why?  Because the images are all life-size digital reproductions of the originals, showing the works they way they looked when they were first created rather than how they appear now.  

Based on discoveries found by examining the originals with x-rays and microscopes, organizers of the The Complete Rembrandt exhibition -- which runs from July 5th through September 7th at the Amsterdam Stock Exchange -- were able to create digital images that recreate the vibrant colors Rembrandt originally used, or that add pieces back to paintings that over time had been cut off.  

Rembrandt's most famous painting, the Night Watch, is one such piece that has been trimmed over the centuries, and is actually missing two figures in its present form.  The full-size reproduction of how Rembrandt originally painted the picture will be portrayed in the exhibition alongside a replica of the damaged version, to show the differences. 

This approach can be seen as a different way of "restoring" a painting without tampering with the original.  It allows for a much broader display of the artist's work than would be possible with the originals, and is a much more educational and accurate display of how he intended his paintings to look.

Yet there are those who feel that passing off posters as art will hamper one's appreciation of seeing the original paintings.  To me, that seems absurd.  Think of all the artists who sell prints of their works, so more people can enjoy them.  The goal of the Rembrandt prints is a little different, but is no less artistic.  It represents a significant achievement that is only available now with modern technology and discoveries.  I hope the exhibition eventually travels beyond Amsterdam and around the world for more exposure, and that this approach is taken with other artists as well, as it is a breakthrough way to learn about the great art and artists from the past.  An excerpt from a Yahoo.com AP news story about the exhibition follows:

The life work of Rembrandt...[goes] on display next week in full-sized digital reproductions that attempt to recreate the works as they emerged from the artist's studio rather than as they exist today. 

In some ways, the high resolution images are more authentic than the real paintings, said Ernst van de Wetering, a leading Rembrandt scholar who supervised the project.

Employing computer wizardry, pieces of canvas or panel that were sliced off centuries ago have been patched back on.  Colors are restored to the vibrancy they had when they came off the master's brush.  Details hidden in darkness because of aging pigments emerge into view...

Not everyone is happy with the idea of passing off posters as true art...The exhibit revives a 3-year-old debate about the value of seeing copies of the full range of Rembrandt's work as compared with viewing a few originals..."Reproductions cannot convey anything of the wonderful three-dimension quality of Rembrandt's painted surfaces," [Axel] Ruger wrote...

[Van de Wetering] argues that Rembrandt made copies of his work, and had his students make more copies, because he wanted a wider audience. 

"Rembrandt would have been very happy if he had known we were doing this," he said.  "But the copies he made of his works are many times worse than ours."

IN THE NEWS: Now You Can Adopt an Embryo

As of July 1, 2009, you can adopt an embryo in Georgia.  A new state law promoted by pro-lifers allows the *parents* to transfer their legal rights to the embryo and any baby growing from it to other parents, who can then later officially adopt the child once it is...more than an embryo.  The law is a breakthrough for opponents of abortion, because it gets people to see an embryo as an adoptable child. 

The issue among pro-lifers and abortion rights advocates has long been the definition of life -- at which point does a fetus become a person with the right to live?  Although the new law does not define when life begins, or state that the embryo is living already, the unwritten implication is that it is indeed a person.

After riding through Florida last week past countless pro-life billboards stating that a baby's heart begins to beat after 18 days, it was sort of fitting to read the news today and see an argument that a baby's life begins even earlier.  Presumably thousands of embryos are currently being destroyed after they are no longer needed, and this law will give the "legal embryo custodian" an alternative to destroying their future offspring.  They can instead adopt them out, without ever going through the trouble of pregnancy. 

Is this the solution to the long wait lists for adopting a baby?  How much will it cost to adopt an embryo?  Who will then give birth to the child?  It still isn't clear to me how all this will play out, but I'll be watching the news to find out.

Below is an excerpt from the Atlanta Journal Constitution story:

...HB 388, which also goes into effect today, allows for the adoption of embryos.  Religious conservatives championed the bill to provide an alternative to the destruction of embryos harvested by couples trying to conceive a child.  Jim Beck, president of the Georgia Christian Coalition, was among its supporters.

"People of faith have always contended that an embryo is life," said Beck, who added that the new law "is really a step toward acknowledging that an embryo is, in fact, life."

The bill's authors, however, specifically skirted the issue of whether an embryo is a person, and it does not give embryos, including the estimated 20,000 now frozen in Georgia fertility clinics, their own rights.

Beck said that while he does not expect "a floodgate to open and people to step forward" and adopt embryos..."any embryo saved from destruction is a life and is a life that may enrich a family."

IN THE NEWS: World's First Dog Cloning Business Clones 9/11 Rescue Dog

BioArts International, the world's first commercial dog cloning service, has created five clones of a 9/11 German shepherd rescue dog named Trakr, which was deemed the world's most "cloneworthy" dog in a competition.  The five clones, each worth around $144,000, were given for free to Trakr's handler, James Symington, and were especially welcome considering that Trakr died in April.

BioArts International chief executive Lou Hawthorne told AFP:  "I think 99 percent of the time people should get their pets from shelters, but can we agree though that one percent of the time, if you have a one in a million dog and you have the money to pay for it, you should be able to go to either a breeder or a cloner?"

When will the day arrive where we ask that about our own children, or ourselves?  Instead of enlarging our families through the usual procreation or adoption, we decide that someone is a "one in a million" person and is worthy of cloning, and we have the money to burn.  Personally, I think the world could use at least five more of me, and at least a dozen more of my wonderful child.   

However, being "one in a million" -- or actually being entirely unique, as every human and animal is -- does not justify cloning, and actually could be an argument against cloning.  A better question is whether cloning should be commercially available at all, at any cost.  Other important questions that do not seem resolved include:  what grounds should justify the procedure; who should be allowed to determine that those reasons have been met; how are cloning labs going to be overseen; what harm can come of this; and on and on. 

An excerpt from the AFP story appears below.  Note that the story refers to the clones as "descendants" and "offspring," which is a bit misleading, but we don't really have the vocabulary yet to deal with this new phenomenon.

James Symington, a former Canadian police officer, choked back tears as he formally took possession of the five descendants of his beloved German shepherd named Trakr, who died in April.

Symington was presented with Trakr's offspring after winning a competition organized by California firm BioArts International -- the "Golden Clone Giveaway" -- to find the world's most "cloneworthy" dog...Symington and Trakr arrived at the site of the World Trade Center collapse, commonly referred to as Ground Zero, on September 12, 2001 and were one of the first K9 search and rescue teams on the site. 

After working nearly non-stop for 48 hours, Trakr located the last human survivor found in the rubble of the twin towers.

"Trakr was an extraordinary search and rescue dog.  His work at Ground Zero was the culmination of his career," Symington said.  "I look forward to the day that these puppies can follow in Trakr's footsteps and play an important role in rescues, like Trakr did."

IN THE NEWS: Dutch Politician Recommends Four-Day Workweek to Counter Unemployment

To decrease unemployment, a Dutch politician wants to introduce a law requiring employees to only work four days, presumably so more employees can be hired on the off days. 

This is such a bizarre concept to an American, to think of legislating work hours at the national level, when we do things on a private company by company basis in the United States.  However, the entire economy is dictated by the government in the Netherlands.  For example, by law most stores must close early in the evening, to allow workers to go home to their families or social life.  So while certain American companies are reducing hours for employees, or placing people on furlough, or taking other measures appropriate to their own needs, the government of the Netherlands will be considering forcing its own solutions on businesses there.

Below is an excerpt from the story in De Telegraaf, plus some of the 186 comments the story garnered:

The PvdA [political party] wants to require a four-day workweek to counter the fast-growing unemployment.  Politician Mariette Hamlet will introduce this idea to the cabinet for debate next week. 

A four-day workweek can "help unbelievably" in the fight against the loss of jobs...A four-day workweek creates a more fair allotment of job opportunities and helps parents with the care of their children, she said. 

To make the shorter workweek possible, the cabinet must get rid of obstacles within the law on working hours.

Comments:

I only want a 4-day workweek if my salary remains the same.

Political party of the Poor...Everyone knows that what she didn't say is that salaries will be decreased by 20%.

Keep your communist ideas to yourself.

How come so many foreigners are allowed to come work here?  No wonder that there is less and less work. 

Yeah, yeah, and then surely give up 20% of the salary?  People, think about it!  Many people can barely get by as it is.  Or do you think they will let you work less for the same pay?  Hahaha, that makes me laugh!

The world economy is 24 hours, except in the Netherlands.  Away with the laws on closing times.  That will add more jobs.  Here in Berlin the stores are open daily till 10:00 p.m.  In Ireland there are 24/7 stores.  That is better than working four days.  We have economists of the highest level in the Netherlands.

This might sound arrogant, but I'm very proud to say that I am 58, and I've never voted for that political party in my life.

People must be extremely naive to take this party seriously.

IN THE NEWS: Astronauts Finally Drink Recycled Urine After Decades of R&D

"I definitely don't want to be an astronaut now," my daughter said emphatically, after learning that astronauts toasted their first ever glass of recycled urine in outer space.  For the scientists and engineers who have spent decades developing the urine purifying system for NASA, it's about as exciting as Jesus turning water into wine.  

Exactly 25 years ago I wrote an article -- "IBM Wins Role in New Space Station Study Contract" -- that touched on this very topic:  "With six to eight astronauts manning Space Station in three to six month shifts, a 'regenerative life support system' is needed.  'Until the system is developed, the shuttle will have to carry consumables up and carry wastes down...a regenerative system can process the waste products, recover such things as oxygen and water, and greatly reduce the shuttle support requirements.'"    

The waste recovery system heralds a new era for NASA.  It is a key piece in NASA's plan to colonize the moon and put astronauts in space for months at a time, while still phasing out the space shuttle in 2010.  An excerpt from the May 20th NASA news release follows.

"This has been the stuff of science fiction.  Everybody's talked about recycling water in a closed loop system, but nobody's ever done it before.  Here we are today with the first round of recycled water," said [Flight Engineer Mike] Barratt.  "We're really happy for this day and for the team that put this together.  This is the kind of technology that will get us to the moon and further."

"This is an important milestone in the development of the space station," said Kirk Shireman, International Space Station deputy program manager at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston.  "This system will reduce the amount of water we must launch to the station once the shuttle retires and also test out a key technology required for sending humans on long duration missions to the moon and Mars."

...The system is tied into the station's Waste and Hygiene Compartment toilet and recovers and recycles moisture from the station's atmosphere...Space station crews will monitor the purity of the recycled water with on-board equipment and periodically send down samples for testing on Earth.

  NASA photo showing the equipment that turns urine into water.

IN THE NEWS: Rats! British Resort Town Becomes Not-So-Fancy Rat Society

A town in Somerset, England called Weston-super-Mare is becoming super famous overnight, but for all the wrong reasons.  Giant rats have taken over the seaside resort town.  Some residents are terrified, while others are taking it in stride and giving the rats names.  Like Ben, maybe?

Considering all the diseases that are spread by rats, you would think the local government would do something about the problem.  Instead, the council insists that the rats there are "no more of a problem than anywhere else in the country," according to the MailOnline.  Yikes!  Is England really so plagued by these vermin?

Of all the people in Weston-Super-Mare upset about the rodent problem, perhaps the one who ought to be most distressed is Estelle Sandford.  "I run a rattery in Weston-super-Mare," she says on her website.  "I currently breed towards British Blue, Golden Siamese/Himalayan and Wheaten Burmese based variety fancy rats in normal and dumbo ear and rex and straight coat."  As if that were not impressive enough, there's more:  "I am Hon. Treasurer for the NFRS [National Fancy Rat Society] and show my rats at their shows.  I am also an NFRS Championship Judge and have judged for many rat club shows in the UK and Europe." 

It would be hard to fathom why anyone would want to buy a pet rat, even one bred from a "registered stud" show rat, when the town is already overrun with rats. 

Good thing the place has heroes like Protectahome and Good Riddance Pest Control to come to the rescue.  And for entertainment, the locals can choose none other than the local "Rat Pack singer" Steve Conway.  Next time the town needs a marketing slogan, it seems the most fitting one of all would be The Real Fancy Rat Society.   

An excerpt from the MailOnline story appears below:

A plague of giant rats have invaded a seaside resort terrifying residents.

There are so many of the vermin in the Somerset town of Weston-super-Mare that locals have started giving them names.

The huge rats are breeding so quickly that anti-pest control firms have been inundated with calls by concerned homeowners in the seaside town.

One of the brazen animals was even snapped tearing open a bird feeder dangling 7ft off the ground...

To tackle the rats...workers shoot, trap and even use specialist terrier dogs to kill off populations.

IN THE NEWS: Spain Knights a Museum Curator in Boston

Spain has just made a knight out of a museum curator in Boston, all because of an art show that brought attention to some old Spanish art.  I don't know about you, but when I think of a knight, it's someone in shining armor, doing something manly, chivalrous and daring, particularly in a battle situation.  I also think of something from the very distant past, not today's news. 

Yet such is the bizarre world of royalty in Europe.  They have nothing better to do nowadays than hand out useless titles.  Maybe it just doesn't fit with me because in the United States Constitution, we show our attitude toward titles:  "No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State."  

Yet here we have it, a fairytale story from artforum.com: 

Ronni Baer, the William and Ann Elfers senior curator of paintings in the art of Europe at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, will be honored as a knight-commander in the Encomienda de la Orden de Isabel la Católica (Order of Isabella the Catholic) by the Spanish government on February 9. Bestowed by Don Juan Carlos I, the king of Spain, the honor will be presented to Baer by ambassador of Spain to the United States, Jorge Dezcallar. The distinction is accorded to Baer for her “outstanding contributions to the dissemination of Spanish culture in the US” in recognition of her curatorial work for “El Greco to Velázquez: Art during the Reign of Philip III.” The exhibition was on view at the MFA from April 20 through July 27, 2008.

IN THE NEWS: Police Mini-Submarine for Catching Sewage Polluters Debuts at Boat Shows in Europe

Police in the Netherlands will soon be using mini-submarines to dive beneath pleasure boats and ensure that boaters are not dumping their waste overboard -- specifically, their fecal waste, according to the Telegraaf.  The story below, translated from Dutch, drew more than 180 reactions, some of which are included.

The land police patrol corps (KLPD) is ready to do investigations under water.

Since January 1, a new law forbids people from tossing human waste products off of their pleasure boats into the water.  With a mini diving boat, the KLPD can go under water to determine whether water sporters are adhering to the new regulations.

Rascals who dump in an emergency will face the risk of being caught red-handed.  The new diving boats, or mini-submarines, are decked out in bright KLPD colors and have a police emblem.  They will be shown at the Hiswa boat show in the Netherlands this year from March 3-8.  Earlier, the KLPD made a furor with its debut at the water sport show Boot in Dusseldorf, Germany.

Comments by readers of the article were overwhelmingly against the new police regulations and plans:

What a shitty job!!

Do these people have nothing better to do than count turds?  What a waste of time and money.

You must determine who the turd came from.  Are the police going to do a smell test?  First smell the turd, and then the anus of the suspect?  Are the police going to hire turd experts? 

This is surely an April fools joke, don't you think???

This is becoming a true POLICE STATE!  Thanks voters!!!

Can it get any sicker?  Apparently so.

Smoking prohibition, poop and piss prohibition -- what a shitty land.

This country is beginning to take on practices from the Middle Ages, only with modern tools.  What a terrible place we are becoming!!  The problems are building up, and we go searching for turds.

What kind of a job is that, looking at turds?

My heavens, no mountain is too high for the Dutch police, as long as it is safe work and it brings in money.  You are ashamed of yourself to be a police agent nowadays, right?  No mention of pride or honor.

The times of the Gestapo rise again when we will become controlled and registered.  Anarchy will be the result if they don't stop with this sort of thing.

Hahahaha, they must take on this sort of task more often.

The average view under water is only 30 cm.  Much success agents!!  They are beginning for sure on April 1st!

I don't want my hard-earned tax money being wasted on this sort of nonsense.

Murderers and criminals are walking around, and my good money is being used for this sort of ridiculous business!  BAH!  What a shitty government.  I hope that the turds in government are also rounded up.  High time for new elections...

Welcome to the Modern Police State called the Netherlands!

The turd police.  As you read this article, you realize how terrible the Netherlands has become.  They do EVERYTHING to bring in money.

In my imagination I see it well, DNA match from the turd with the boat owner.  Why don't the police discuss priorities?

If you tell anyone about this outside of the Netherlands, they will double over in laughter.

Question:  Will a forensics lab be used whenever they cannot determine the source of a particular turd?

This is a joke!  In many places under water you can barely see your hands in front of your eyes.  The diving boats can only go down for a limited time...Unworkable plan.

Finding turds seems like an appropriate task for the Dutch police to me.  I'm curious whether the agents will be judged at the end of the year by how many tickets they give, or by how many turds they find.

Bioethics Issues Gain Attention Around the World

Numerous recent headlines have dealt with bioethics issues -- those sensitive areas where science has advanced beyond what the public and the law are prepared for.  You know, things like artificial life, genetic modification, gene therapy, cloning, euthanasia, abortion, reproductive technologies, surrogacy, transplants and so on.

Many of the headlines have to do with the increasing number of interdisciplinary conferences, think tanks and graduate degree programs available on bioethics.  For example, an international conference on bioethics will take place in Europe this month; the University of Tokyo has just established a new biomedical ethics department; and the Vatican has upgraded its Rome Bioethics School.  We will be seeing more and more such headlines in the future, since the only way to make appropriate decisions on bioethics is to be properly informed.   

In fact, while most of these educational opportunities are aimed at adults, we should all be considering how to educate the upcoming generations about these topics, possibly as a required or elective course in school.  Everyone should be able to state their opinion on these issues, and to give a sound reason for their opinion.

For many people, their religion has already provided the answer for them.  Even though the major religions were founded well before bioethics was a word, they all have guiding principles that have been applied to modern situations.  So for the religious, forming an opinion may be as simple as consulting a local church, synagogue, mosque or temple.  For other people, things may not be so black and white.  And hence the need for courses on the subject.  Without proper information, people may find that their opinions go whichever way the wind is blowing.

For example, a friend of mine who was against euthanasia discovered -- after watching his mother suffer for years with painful terminal cancer -- that he was in fact for it, and he stood by his mother's side while she went her way.  Another person I know was completely against abortion, until she was diagnosed with having a Down Syndrome baby that also had a heart defect, indicating the child would require multiple surgeries and have a short life span, and be a huge burden on this young mother.  Suddenly, she felt abortion was the right way to go. 

Can it be that our ethics are so shallow and subject to change, rather than deeply rooted?  What should dictate our decisions -- morals, religion, practicalities...?  Of course, laws dictate our decisions ultimately, and the ability to form appropriate laws is what the urgent need to study bioethics is all about.

IN THE NEWS: Student Creates Paper Shredder Using Hamsters for Power

Animals were the "power" of the past, and they may well become the power of the future, too, as people get creative with solutions to the world's future energy needs.  One small example is the idea that a college student came up with:  using hamsters to power a paper shredder.  Silly?  Maybe not.  The inventor already has several companies interested in turning his working prototype into a full scale production.  An excerpt from MailOnline follows:

An energetic hamster is powering an environmentally-friendly paper shredder by running on his wheel.  And he's certainly got his work cut out for him -- as he has to run flat out for 45 minutes to shred one sheet of A4 paper....

Tom Ballhatchet, 29, developed the product using a friend's hamster for his master's degree in industrial design.  The London-based design consultant said:  "I wanted to come up with a product that would capture people's imagination while addressing issues of topical concern such as climate change, recycling and identity fraud."

The hamster shredder provides a solution to all of these things because it relies on the hamster to generate power, destroys confidential documents and turns paper into bedding.  "Owners can put their paper in the top before they go to bed and wake up to find the hamster has been on its wheel and shredded the paper in the process.  The hamster just has to go about its normal life."

IN THE NEWS: Dutch Plan to Sell Insects as Food in Grocery Stores to Replace Meat

The following story is translated from today's Telegraaf:

Insects will be on display as food in Dutch grocery stores by 2020, according to Arnold van Huis of the Entomology Lab at Wageningen University.  Insects will necessarily replace meat in the future, the expert says.

Insects are already available in limited forms, but they are expected to be easily obtainable in grocery stores by 2020 if not sooner.  "The past ten years, the acceptance of insects as a form of food has grown.  In another ten years, the acceptance in the Netherlands will have grown so much that insects will be available everywhere."

Eighty percent of the world's population already eats insects.  In total, more than 1,400 types of insects appear on menus worldwide.  Insects will become more and more important as a replacement for meat.  The production of meat is done at the expense of having land to build on, and is therefore threatened.

The acceptance in the Netherlands of insects as food will increase as new solutions to meat production are sought, according to Van Huis.  "I can imagine that not everyone will choose insects directly.  But work the insects into a tasty mixture of other foods and no one will complain."

According to the expert, there still must be the required laws passed to regulate insects as food before they appear in stores.  "Above all the quality control and means of production must be established by law."

The article got more than 70 reactions, including the following:

Why not??

This is not just about insects.  This is about the fact that there are too many people on the planet.

Bring me the snacks!

I think you can just find the insects among the plants and get them fresher.

That's the solution -- no more food banks, just insect banks!

Why wait so long?

I can't wait.  Sounds delicious!

You can't change people's culinary preferences so easily.  Soon that man will say that we will be eating dogs, rats and so on.  Ridiculous.

Vegetarians have eaten meat replacements for years that are already in the supermarkets.  You don't have to eat insects.  Just go eat a vegetarian burger.

GD!  No, not ME, I will never eat insects!  I'll just have less meat if I have to!

If we are going to have to eat insects soon, then we will need to stop using pesticides and insecticides. 

Kangaroo meat is also tasty!!!!!!!!

Will we have a political party in favor of eating insects?  Green, left and the ridiculous will make protests and threats, and set fire to cars and houses.

Yeah...then we can ultimately take on the ways of cannibals.  You bother me?  I eat you.  But fine -- I'm curious how that will taste.

I will just have a peanut butter sandwich and pass on the insects.

I would like some roasted spiders please.

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!  Yes sir, good huh?  Fly soup.